It's been a year and four months since I last wrote a blog post. Sorry, published a blog post. I've written a little bit, but those posts often get lost and forgotten about   But here I am, determined to say something to the blog world. 

I've been reading a few of my last posts and am struck with how similar things still are in regards to my diabetes management. I still feel frustrated and tired from walking along this tightrope. I still feel hopeful that maybe one day it will be better. I'm not sure that it ever does, the act of managing diabetes is still as consuming as it will ever be. But it's my response, my feelings that can change. I like to take hold of that. 

Much has changed for me, personally. New job, new house, new marital status. These have been keeping me wonderfully happy. There's been that niggly thing of diabetes in the background, it hasn't skyrocketed out of control but purely being happy also doesn't equate for ideal control. So I'm dipping my toe back into the blog world. Perhaps writing again will help? Maybe it will, maybe it won't. Will never know until I try.

Blurry days and blurry blood sugar levels

It's been a blurry year. Things have been all over the place - and I'm not just talking about  Diabetes management - there's also been big changes to my work and home life (both for the better) but it's cause havoc all round. Emotionally, physically and every other ally. 

I'm feeling a bit down at the moment but I think it's important to focus on the positive. I'm moved out to a new place on a farm with my fiance. It's bigger, warmer and the kitchen is amazing. I love it! Something about the peace and quiet keeps me sane. I also had my lowest A1c level in about 8 years, due to hard work as well as starting on the pump in Oct 2013. Work life has been all over the place due to a turnaround of staff but we have a lovely lady now on board for our team of three and it should be settled for the next 9 months and generally means my work load is lighter. 

What I'm struggling with is the forwards and backwards nature of diabetes management and generally lifestyle management. I had an appointment with my Diabetes Nurse Educator and my a1c had gone up 12 points (just over 1%) and since joining the gym in March my weight has also gone up. ARRRRRRRRGGGGH

I cried at my appointment. Not at the numbers themselves but at the backwards slant the numbers has taken. It's so bloody frustrating. It feels like one step forward three steps back. My DNE is great though, she took one look at my a1c and said "You are not getting enough insulin". Something about that statement made me okay with it. As if, it's not all my fault. We tweaked basal and carb ratio rates.

 I felt terrible leaving that appointment but I think it helped to build resilience. I'm pretty determined to up the gym sessions and increase the healthy foods. I don't necessarily think I'm doing anything too wrong but with moving house, sickness and general stress in the last three months has meant an unhealthier lifestyle. Then again, maybe I do need a heck of shake up in order to make the changes I need. We've also talked about me starting on some metformin and my DNE was very clear to say it's not to say that I've failed but that my body is generally insulin resistant. I'll try it because I trust my DNE but I hate the idea of being on more medication and I hate that I can't change my lifestyle in order to prevent this. 

I'm feeling determined but I've been in this place before and the stagnation of not having better management is soul destroying. I have spent years trying to get my a1c below 7.5% but I just struggle to break that barrier and simply, I have not had an a1c that low in about 9 years. I was diagnosed 11 years ago and don't have my a1c numbers from then so it's highly likely the last time I had an a1c that low was prediagnosis. It's a goal that's been in my mind for the last 3-4 years. This week I felt a huge sense of frustration and felt like the numbers/test results/levels were consuming me. I'm trying to ride this feeling for a bit instead of blocking it away. It's shit. But life can be like that. I think human nature can be too muffling to negative feelings. The response to having a bad day is usually one of solutions of how to fix it. Sometimes it's a shit day or shit week and that is just that. I'm trying to ride that feeling, I don't want to feel like that again and it's more likely that I won't if I remember that feeling and not hide it away. 

It's a long blog post for me tonight. I've had a few feelings and thoughts to sort through and writing helps. 

Just gotta keep on keeping on.  

I Can - D Blog Week 2015

I had promised myself that I would spend last weekend having a think about all my blog topics and really try and do them justice.

Instead, I forgot and now I'm tip typing away while I sit on a bus on my way into work.

I guess I'm supposed to feel empowered by this topic but I can't help but feel disemppwered. I think in a roundabout sort of way that's a good thing though. How will I know if I feel empowered unless I've felt the other side of it? The powerlessness of disempowerment? So I can't help but sit and think about all the times Diabetes has frustrated me, brought me to tears and that one time I threw my meter across the room.

After thinking all of this I take a step back in my mind, readjust my way of thinking and ponder all the things I'm proud of.

- My 4.5 year relationship and soon to be marriage (bring on March 2016!). I'm proud to have a healthy strong relationship where we can communicate effectively and have fun. And I have someone always offering snuggles after a crappy D day.

- My education. I have two degrees, one in Law and an honours degree in Classics. They represent my university years, my all nighters, my library sessions and a lot of hard work.

- My diabetes management. I spent a whole bunch of time trying to pretend I didn't have diabetes, ignoring the bsl's, the lethargy from high blood sugars and my health in general. About 3 years ago I finally started to be an active participant in my health, fast forward 3 years and I'm now rocking life with an insulin pump. My managment still isnt where I'd want it to be but I'm rocking my lowest A1c in 8 years.

All of these I'm damn proud of. They're all things I can, and have done!

Edit: I think I'm supposed to put the link to Karen's magic linky list of other blogs -  am currently blogging from cellphone so I can't put up the link but will next time I'm at the computer! 

And we're now in 2015

Oh hello 2015. You crept up on me!
I like new years, new starts. I feel like i've been given a whole new slate that is open to a world of possibilities.

It's a recurring pattern of mine to start off with a fresh new week/year/month with best intentions if exercising regularly, blogging more, eating healthily, basal testings etc. Eventually my best intentions fall to the way side and I struggle to follow through.

I don't know the best way to combat this but I am determined to bring that a1c down, to exercise more and to generally feel healthier and I know that blogging keeps me on track!

Merry Christmas and Mediocrity of Management

Merry Christmas to everyone!

This Christmas Day is the quietest one I've had. Instead of going home for our crazy overwhelming family bonanza I choose to stay in the South Island with my lovely partner. It's just the two of us and we have a friend coming over for dinner. 

I made a delicious fancy smancy brunch, we had bubbles and then opened presents. Very quiet. I miss my family but am also very much enjoying feeling relaxed today. 

I'm feeling grumpy at Diabetes today. I had one of those overly emotional lows last night, which happened while I had about 8 units of Insulin on board (grr miscalcuation on carbs). It resulted in staying up for hours and I think I balanced between not eating too much for my blood sugar to go sky rocketing and enough to keep me alive. There were moments of sobbing and screeching to my partner saying "I'm so sick of this". I really am. 

But then I wake up in the morning and today is a new day. Even better, it's christmas day and I got a new cook book (Edmonds Cookery Book, I'm a real kiwi housewife now!). 

I really need to get my management on track, it's taken a huge leap in the right direction since being on a pump but has plateaued since that. Instead of being well controlled I'm more moderately controlled, or "could be better". It doesn't feel like burn out because I'm still going through the motions easily enough. It's more like this never ending feeling of mediocrity of management. There's finger pricks and correction boluses but not basal testing and no real tracking of numbers to see where I'm going wrong. I lack motivation to engage with any of that. I also keep getting the slight comments around needing to exercise more and lose weight. After the first week of one such appointment I exercised for 5 days out of 7 for at least 30 minutes. And then I lacked motivation and didn't exercise again. 

It's the same old thing over and over again. Motivation to do something for a week and not following through. I'm not sure how to combat this melancholy but I'm trying out a few different things. As always, tomorrow is a new day with a new beginning. 

Stay safe every one and I wish you and your families the happiest of holidays :)

11 Years and no complications

This morning I woke up with 7.2mmo/l and corrected this. I was happy with this number in general but because my target is 6 I chose to correct this. My correction dose was 0.65 units.

This is another reason to love an insulin pump. The minuscule amounts you can bolus means, in theory, a better control than on Multiple Daily Injections. On injections I wouldn't correct until I went over 10mmol/l.

I think it's important to stop and be thankful for the little things sometimes. Even if by little, I mean a 0.65 unit bolus. 

Also. Got the 11 years, no complications from my endo recently. Very refreshing to hear that. 

If I bury my head in the sand, maybe no one else will notice

I've been hiding from blogging.

It's been awhile since I felt like writing. I could say that it's due to my current workload which is pretty heavy but really I think it's because my blood sugar levels have been creeping higher and higher. It's not something I want to admit. So, if I wrote about it that would mean actually admitting it. I'm at a point where I can admit it now. 

Blood sugar levels aren't something to hide from though. I think I thought if I tested and corrected I wasn't hiding from them. In reality I was, I was ignoring the above average fasting levels and many other types of levels. 

My downfall? Stress. Stress, stress, stress. It was sending me through the roof. Things have calmed down a bit at work now so I am feeling more comfortable about trying to get back in control. I have an A1c test in 3 weeks and my yearly appointment with my endo. I'm looking forward to it, if only to see how "bad" my A1c has been (side note, there are no bad numbers, only bad decisions made with numbers).

My mantra, as it always has been is one step at a time.  

How I went from an A1C of 81 (9.6%) to 62 (7.8%)

From this...

I wish I could tell you guys a magic cure for this. It didn't happen overnight. In fact, this drop in A1C took just under two years. Part of it I can attribute to switching to an insulin pump but on it's own an insulin pump isn't a magic cure. I would like to highlight that before this happened I made a 10point drop on my own. The pump is great but you do have to be prepared to put the work in. 

Pre Pump

I've talked about this before here but I found my diabetes managed to be like one big giant jigsaw puzzle, you try one piece and if it doesn't work you try another. That is what I was doing to start with. The first step came from wanting to have an active role in my health care. I had gone through the last 5-6 years, floating through as a passive participant in my health. I had terrible habits but not so terrible that it was unmanageable. My blood sugar levels were dangerous in the long run because they were contributing to a high A1c but in the moment I was able to live. The only point in which I needed medical intervention was when I ran out of insulin one weekend and I thought I would be okay till my doctors appointment on Monday. I wasn't and this showed my lack of knowledge about how intrinsically important insulin is. I went into DKA at the end of 2010 and came out of it being prescribed lantus which evened out my blood sugar levels. In any event, I was still running higher BSLs than I should have been and  I was consistently tired, grumpy and struggling to get out of bed in the morning. I put this down to stress and a heavy work load. I also continued to blame myself for these high levels.

And then halfway through 2011 I got sick. I rarely get sick and this one just completely wore me down. It was a combination of being run down, having the flu and a chest infection. I started paying a bit more attention to my levels and found that they weren't making sense even when my sickness go better. I emailed the Diabetes Nurse Educator and the hospital and organised an appointment to see her. From there we started working on the jigsaw puzzle. We adjusted my nightly lantus dose, my insulin to carb ratio, my correction factor, my insulin sites (I was asked to stay away from the left side of my stomach), and it felt like everything else under the sun. I even wore a CGM for a week (loaned to me by my local hospital) I was trying so many different things and trying to keep a brave face of it. Blogging helped but it did get me down to not see a better result than a 71 (8.6%).  Eventually the idea of a pump was brought and I was slightly hesitant at first. And then I had to go through an approval process with Pharmac which was terrifying. I did all this research on pumps and it made me really really want one!

Post Pump and becoming an active participant in my health care!

I've talked a little bit about my experience with my Animas Vibe here but one of the positives of a pump was my acceptance of my freaking enormous dawn phenomena. I now know that I need 3 times as much insulin during the hours of 2am and 6am compared to what I use during the day. When I discovered that it lessened off some of the intense blame I had been carrying for the past few years. With a dawn phenomena like that I was never going to be able to manage on injections. And that brings us to August 2014 where my latest A1c is 62. I know that I have a way to go before I am in a safer range but after 8 years of sitting in the 8 and 9 % range. I think that a 7.8% (or 62) is a pretty good sign. There was something amazing at looking at it and realising it was my lowest number since I moved to Dunedin in 2006. 

I can attribute my better levels to my discovery of the Online Diabetic Community. Diabetes is so isolating that it is damn great to have someone to share it with. 

Almost 11 years of finger pricks

Sometimes I look at my finger tips and think they are hideous. Other times they are my battle scars, the ones to show each individual battle I've won.

What are your finger prick scars to you?

There's just something about being sprayed in the face with blood

One of those days

#Showmeyourpump

I love this hashtag. And I'm glad that Miss Idaho's pump has made an appearance in NZ media!

http://www.stuff.co.nz/life-style/wellbeing/10291216/This-beauty-queen-bikini-has-everyone-talking


Here's mine :)

Running

It's amazing how the pain of exercise can make you feel so damn amazing!

A while ago I decided I would be a SERIOUS runner. I spent some time researching what I needed to do to become this. I told my boyfriend I that would do a half marathon later in the year.

Annnd about 5 or 6 weeks ago I finally stopped researching and went for a run. I started the Couch 2 5K program and continued with that. I've just done Day 3 of Week 4. Today's run consisted of a 5min warm up walk, 3 min running, 90 sec walking, 5 min running 2min,30 sec walking and 5 min running.

And I did it. Even though I find running very hard and I haven't been for a run in over a week.

I feel amazing!

These feet and shoes have actually been running!

The Year of the Horse - Galloping by Diabetes Style

The days are flying by. I remember the older people in my life always used to say that the days go quicker as you get older. Younger me always thought this was stupid. However, 26 year old me says slow the heck down world.

May was a pretty great month in terms of Diabetic things. I wrote all 7 blog posts for the 2014 Blog Week, I tuned into the Diabetes Hope Conference, My blog got a shout out from Amy over at Diabetes Mine, I got my lowest a1c in 8 years and to top it off, I got renewed funding for my insulin pump consumables. That is a whole bunch of great things!

There's more to come with June too. I'm determined to continue to get amongst the DOC by reading and commenting away on blogs. I'm also starting training for a half marathon... keen eyes may have noticed my exercise log on my blog. It lists my training runs and some data I've done around it. Going to put up a separate post about this my reasons why I want to run a half marathon and how I'm feeling about it.

Feel a little like I'm caught up in whirlwind but I am enjoying it so far!

Year of the Horse I tell you! Credit to Artist Centauressa

Thoughts on Diabetes Hope Conference 2014

The Diabetes Hope Conference was just over a fortnight ago and I've spent a bit of time reflecting on how I found it. There were a lot of things I loved about the Conference and only one minor thing I didn't really enjoy. In a nutshell - I loved the theme, the participants, the conversation and the ease of access. The one thing I wasn't such a fan of was the early start it required. 

Theme
First and foremost I loved the idea behind this conference. From the About page on the website:

"We thought that this lack of hope should change. We thought that someone should take up the mantle of hope and at a minimum, start creating hope by getting people to talk about complications like DPN. By talking about it amongst each other, with members of the medical community and yes, even with the pharmaceutical companies that supply the devices and medications for diabetics, we can share knowledge. And it is our belief that knowledge is the first step towards hope."

Diabetes is relentless, it's unforgiving, it's incurable and sometimes it does truly feel hopeless. Talking about hope and talking about the things about Diabetes that make you feel hopeless was only ever going to be a great thing. 


Participants:
Great range of speakers and topics. They were conversations that I was truly interested in. I missed about half of the first conversation due to timing schedules (I was in bed snoozing... it was 4am!) but I still was immediately interested in it even though it was 4.20am NZ time. The whole complications thing can sometimes weigh on my mind. I'm 10 years in to my diagnosis, if they are going to happen, the time is only coming closer. Also, having just finished Diabetes Blog Week - was great to be able to Karen live in person! :)

As a blogger, the Value of Blogging Chronic Illness immediately jumped out when I first looked at the topics. It was really interesting hearing about the research done into this by Pamela Ressler and it gave me a bit of perspective. I spend so much time wrapped up in my own blog and the Diabetes Online Community that I hadn't given thought to what other chronic illness communities may be out there. I can only assume a lot!

The Doctor/Patient relationship is something that I come across in both a personal and professional way. In my professional life as an Advocate, I know what rights people have when it comes to health care in NZ. I know what quality means and I am find I am speaking up more about this  in my personal life and embracing this idea of being an active participant in my health care!

The biggest thing about the participants and their topics is that 99% of them are names I have come across before. They are the celebrities of our online community and I was a bit starstruck. Like so many of my peers, these bloggers are cornerstones of my online community - I read about them, tweet them, see them pop up on TuDiabetes etc. It was really fantastic to tune in and be a passive part of their conversations. 

Access:
As a kiwi it is so so amazing to have the chance to participate in something like this. I have to admit I get very jealous hearing about the events that are held in the States. So, having the opportunity to get involved in this conference was something I jumped at. I invited a friend for a sleep over so we could both get up earlier in the morning. I organised bacon, eggs, hashbrowns and croissants. And I got the laptop hooked up to our big TV screen - check out the pic I posted on twitter: pic.twitter.com/cQxcQ4e0Er.

I rocked my dressing gown and pajamas for the entirety of it and when it finished I jumped in the shower and headed to work for the day. I wasn't watching intensely for the whole time, I balanced between cooking breakfast, drinking coffee, chatting to my D Friend (thank you for joining me that early!) and watching the goings on. I like that side of it, that I could relax and be in my own environment. I sure did enjoy being in my pajamas! Comfy! That brings me to the only thing I wasn't such a fan of - the timing! It meant an early start of 4.30am for me and I was exhausted by the end of it. But it's a non issue, so much so I am purposely not putting it under a heading. Being in NZ means that timing is always going to be an issue and with something like this I would rather it be on in the early hours of the morning NZ time. The DSMA chats are on at night time in the US (I think?) but 2pm here in NZ so its sometimes hard to participate due to work. 

All in all - such a positive experience for me and I can't give enough thanks to the organisers, speakers and every one else behind the scenes. You all rock. 

Diabetes Blog Week 2014 - My Favourite Things

As we wrap up another Diabetes Blog Week, let’s share a few of our favorite things from the week. This can be anything from a #DBlogWeek post you loved, a fantastic new-to-you blog you found, a picture someone included in a post that spoke to you, or comment left on your blog that made you smile. Anything you liked is worth sharing!

Click for the My Favorite Things - Sunday 5/18 Link List.

I am well and truly belated with this last post of Diabetes Blog Week 2014. But I have had some spare time to think and reflect on what I enjoyed about. 

For me, the biggest thing was the community feel of the week. It has been so amazing to click on the link list for one of the days and have noticed that I am part of a great communal effort. It's been truly fantastic. I've tried to get amongst the community a bit more by leaving blog comments on the posts I've read. This sparked from an idea somewhere in the community  about posting comments on every blog post you read. I can't recall the blog I read it on though which is not surprising because I read quite a few.

There's too many posts to name all the ones I've enjoyed but here's a go at a few:

I loved the haiku's from Courtney at Pancreassassin  - they definitely gave me a few chuckles.

I loved the rawness of Erin's post about Anger and Diabetes - A lot of what I read resonated with me.

I enjoyed reading this post from Vicki about her double life - Not a lot of people know about my blog either so I also sometimes feel like I'm living this other blog life on the internet...

And there's been lots more and I must say a thank you to all the comments - it is really nice hearing what others think of my blog!

Diabetes Blog Week 2014 - Snapshots Saturday

Back for another year, let’s show everyone what life with diabetes looks like!  With a nod to the Diabetes 365 project, let’s grab our cameras again and share some more d-related pictures.  Post as many or as few as you’d like.  Feel free to blog your thoughts on or explanations of your pictures, or leave out the written words and let the pictures speak for themselves.

Click for the Saturday Snapshots - Saturday 5/17 Link List. 

Apologies for the delay of this!! I was originally going to turn this post into a photo journey of my Saturday but that didn't work out. Instead I spent the day in the kitchen cooking and hanging out with my other half. So instead I sourced my photos from the gallery on my phone - the first one is from June 2013.. so without further a do .. Here is my snapshot!

My experience with a CGM  - June 2013

Current basal rates! This is the reason why I love my pump - so great to be able to change these.

His name is Eddie. Not exactly D Related but belongs to the other half 

Micro dosing - Another reason I love the pump

Always connected

Difficult to see but my fingers show years of pricking. 

And here I am - May 19th 2014 :)

Diabetes Blog Week 2014 - Diabetes Life Hacks Friday

Share the (non-medical) tips and tricks that help you in the day-to-day management of diabetes.  Tell us everything from clothing modifications, serving size/carb counting tricks to the tried and true Dexcom-in-a-glass trick or the “secret” to turning on a Medtronic pump’s backlight when not on the home-screen (scroll to the bottom of this post). Please remember to give non-medical advice only! (Thank you Rachel of Probably Rachel and Kelley of Below Seven for this topic suggestion.)

Click for the Diabetes Life Hacks - Friday 5/16 Link List.

It's Friday already! I have had great pleasure in sharing 5 days worth of posts with the DOC :)

I've also made an effort to stop being a lurker and start being a commenter on other blogs, so if you are visiting this blog because I left a comment on yours then welcome!


I'm really looking forward to reading some of the life hacks that others have but will share one of the biggest ones of mine.. 

Pump on a belt. 

When wearing a dress or any kind of clothing, wear a high waisted belt. Thread the pump tubing out of one of the arm holes of the dress and hook it onto the belt.

I feel like this should be a given but haven't really seen it discussed much or offered as an option in thread etc. 

I don't have anything else but am excited to read up!

Diabetes Blog Week 2014 - Mantras and More Thursday

Yesterday we opened up about how diabetes can bring us down. Today let’s share what gets us through a hard day.  Or more specifically, a hard diabetes day.  Is there something positive you tell yourself?  Are there mantras that you fall back on to get you through?  Is there something specific you do when your mood needs a boost?  Maybe we've done that and we can help others do it too? (Thanks to Meri of Our Diabetic Life for suggesting this topic.)

Click for the Mantras and More - Thursday 5/15 Link List.

I'm a bit of an introvert but people people people get me through. After about 8-9 years of not having any D Friends in real life I have one now. There's something comforting about knowing if I text her a rant about my blood sugar levels, she'll just get it. 

There's also the love of my life who doesn't know what it's like to live with Diabetes but certainly knows what it's like to live with someone who has Diabetes. He's always happy to listen, let me cry on his shoulder or give me a hug. 

I also use this blog as a mechanism to get me through. Writing about what's going in my mind helps me to process it, it can sometimes make a diabetes fueled rant clearer. 

And lastly I could not get through without the DOC - I don't tend to ask a lot of questions or participate in discussions but I do read read read. Thank you to everyone out there for sharing. It might be that your visitor stats list is low but I hope you take note that there are people out there reading! I am one of them. 

And what is my mantra?

One day at a time. And in the times where the days are a struggle? It's one blood sugar level, one injection, one site change.. one at a time. Step by step. 

You can do it.

Shonelle xx

Diabetes Blog Week 2014 - What Brings Me Down Wednesday

May is Mental Health Month so now seems like a great time to explore the emotional side of living with, or caring for someone with, diabetes. What things can make dealing with diabetes an emotional issue for you and / or your loved one, and how do you cope? (Thanks go out to Scott of Strangely Diabetic for coordinating this topic.)

Click for the What Brings Me Down - Wednesday 5/14 Link List.

I could write a book on this topic. It would be my topic of choice if I did write a book about D, something which I would seriously consider in the future. 
There is so much to come to terms with when you have T1D. It's overwhelming. The testing, injecting, the carb counting, the supplies, what to carry with you from now on, the testing, the injections etc. Diabetes can be less of a medical condition and more of a constant freaking annoyance. Those things I mentioned are really just the practical side of it. What is it about these things that turn Diabetes into an emotional waterfall as well? I think it's the idea of living with a chronic medical condition. Knowing, and getting used to the fact that this is your forever. There's also something about knowing that everything you do may possibly impact your Diabetes Management. Want to exercise? Have sex? Relax? Have more sex? Yea, they all can affect your Diabetes in some way. OR. They could not. It could be that some of the things you do, don't actually change anything. It could also be that the one piece of exercise you do on Monday, can have a completely different impact when you do it on Tuesday.

I could go on and on. It's relentless. Sometimes you can figure it out. Sometimes you know that you've incorrectly counted the carbs in a meal. Sometimes you don't. Sometimes no matter how much investigation you do you'll never know why you have that wacko blood sugar. Just writing this blog post has made me tired. Living with it is even more tiring. 

There's also those wondrous times when the physical impact of Diabetes can cross over into the emotional impacts - those high or low blood sugars that make you snap, cry, yell. The emotional side of Diabetes is very very very real. But why? For me, I've swung between depression, acceptance, a fierce need for independence, a recognition I need help. I'm fiercely independent. There was a time sometime after starting University when I discovered that if I didn't tell people about my Diabetes I wouldn't get all those over the top worry warts all of the time. So I stopped sharing with people. And then it got to be an obsession, going so far out of my way to hide it from people that it was ridiculous. Going to my bedroom in my very own home to test my blood sugar or inject because I didn't feel comfortable doing it in front of my flatmates. 

It wasn't a healthy, emotionally stable way to live. What changed? I did for one, my work load got lighter and I really wanted to tighten up my management. So, I started seeing my CDE at the local hospital and we worked on the puzzle of my Diabetes Management. I did some googling and found the DOC. There's definitely a causation between my better controlled blood sugar levels and my discovery of the online community. But I think I was ready to take a leap and change my mind set. 

Diabetes will always be relentless but it is a part of me, not some medical condition I have on the side. Once I accepted that it paved the way for better things. 

Diabetes Blog Week 2014 - Poetry Tuesday

This year, Diabetes Blog Week and TuDiabetes are teaming up to bring out the poet in you! Write a poem, rhyme, ballad, haiku, or any other form of poetry about diabetes. After you’ve posted it on your blog, share it on the No Sugar Added® Poetry page on TuDiabetes, and read what others have shared there as well!

Click for the Poetry Tuesday - Tuesday 5/13 Link List.

I've written a couple of poems in the past. I don't know if I could find them now as I suspect they were on a long gone computer. I do remember I saved them in a folder and then made the folder invisible, I felt pretty spy like doing that. 

I do recall reading back on them that they were pretty dark and depressive. They were written at a low point during my teenage years. When I saw this topic I immediately did not want to do it. I thought that I would choose one of the wild card topics. However, when I looked at the topic again this morning I thought, hmm maybe I can write a Haiku - so I googled it and found an explanation on Wiki How.

There's some context to my Haiku - the word relentless came to me and just fit with how I was feeling about my diabetes management. I've been on my Animas Vibe for 6 months now and feel like I'm walking a tightrope. In order to qualify for continued funding of my pump consumables I need to show a 10 point drop in my Hba1c, that's about 0.9% drop in the other units. 

So today, I received the news that my A1c has dropped 14 points from 76 to 62 or 9.1% to 7.8%. So happiness for me! Glad to see the work is paying off. So this Haiku shows that change, from earlier in the day when I the word relentless resonated me so much to when I felt like the changes I made were seeing results. 

So without further ado.... 

Relentless Diabetic Puzzle

Turned a corner

The Changed Wind appears to blow through